it's like this.

So I still get high off of the Harry Potter series. I get lovesick while daydreaming of Ron Weasley and, oddly, of Snape. Perhaps that is my dark kinky side I didn't know I had suconsciously breaking free...?

Seriously though.

Ever since I was but a wee girl books have been my way into worlds that would otherwise, sadly, not exist. I could curl up with a book for an entire day and feel as though no time has passed at all. Isn't that just the most amazing feeling? Back when I was a young emo child, I would actually get upset that I couldn't go to a place such as Hogwarts. I wanted to go somewhere where being different was accepted rather than blatantly denied. It worked out for Sara Crewe...Anne of Green Gables...Mary Lennox...why not me? But then, I knew they went through their own hardships. Becoming a maid, having red hair and being called "Carrots", or becoming stronger again by discovering your very own secret garden to tend to and grow with. I would, and still do, become so involved with the characters that I would ache with their aches, glow with their laughter, and cry as they did. At times as I finished the book I would hurl it to the floor in anguish at my beloved character's perilous ending...but pick it up again, holding it close to my chest, and kiss it's cover in reverence. (I was a somewhat dramatic kid.) Why I have always felt such a connection to humanity I do not know...I guess someday I will.

I get reflective after two or more glasses of wine. Then I weird people out by speaking of my passionate love affair with books. Or Severus Snape, for that matter.

Anyways. I'll try to be cooler now.

Fiancee climbed a mountain today. So on the coolness scale, I'd say he's pretty sweet. I lounged in a beach chair and enjoyed a day off, which, I must admit, was pretty sweet too. I'm glad our independence has given us an excuse to sit on our asses for 24 hours and consume copious amounts of alcohol with nothing on our conscience. No really. That makes me extremely happy.

Happiness...is:

-Family car rides. My brother talks himself to sleep. I read a book. My dad rocks out. My mom affectionately rubs my dad's knee or falls asleep. This is the case no matter where we go.
-A smile from a stranger on the street.
-A child's unconditional love.
-A secret look from fiancee across the room that I know means 'You're mine.' And the fact that I get to return that look.
-Coming out of the shower to see fiancee playing the guitar, and watch him for a while without him knowing. He does his sexy lip thing then and I like it.
-A pint of Guinness after a long day.
-Opening a new a book and reading the first sentence...and immediately falling in love with it. Letting the words sink in.
-Late night phonecalls from your best friends even if they are completely ridiculous and all you do is tell each other 'move on, he's no good for you'...or 'haha you're so wasted' or 'I miss you doing lip bubbles in the shower' or 'Let's bring a coffee thermos filled with juice and vodka to the show tonight' or 'you're not getting fat' or 'I love you'.
-Cuddling with your mom at the age of 21.
-Still giving your dad a goodnight kiss.
-Sleeping in.
-The feeling you get after a good cry. Or the laughter with your fiancee after it's over and you realize it had absolutely no point.
-A new script to memorize or song to sing at the top of my lungs.
-Rocking out in the car and not caring about people watching. You know they do it too.
-Clean sheets.
-Goldfish crackers and M&M's.
-New school supplies.
-Waking up to a day that is completely new, unplanned, and right at your fingertips.


I am off to putz around before bed now. Tomorrow I am going to start learning Portuguese. I figure since my mother is, and she never learned, that it would be amazing to do it. I feel connected with a culture I hardly know. Perhaps that is where my salsa hips I never knew I had until this past year burst out of the woodworks from...? Bring it on Hector Lavoe. Amalia Rodrigues. Linguicia and Malasadas. I'm comin.